How Do You Respond when Someone Says You Look Different

When someone tells you that you look or seem different, it can be confusing or even concerning. However, it can also be an opportunity to connect with that person and learn more about how they see you. Here are some tips for responding to this common conversation starter.

1. Understanding What They Mean
2. Positive Responses
3. Negative Responses
4. Conclusion

Understanding What They Mean

Before responding, it's important to understand what the person means when they say you look or seem different. Here are some possibilities:

• Your appearance has changed (e.g. new haircut, different outfit)
• Your demeanor or energy level is different (e.g. being more confident, appearing sad)
• They are noticing something unique or special about you

Positive Responses

Assuming the person is making a positive observation, here are some ways you can respond:

1. “Different in what way?”

This response shows curiosity and openness to the person's observation. It also allows you to clarify what they mean by "different" before responding.

2. “If you're saying I'm looking great, then thank you.”

This is a simple and gracious way to accept a compliment. You can also expand on it by expressing gratitude or sharing what changes you've made to your appearance that you're especially proud of.

3. “Thank you! I've been working hard on myself lately.”

This response shows that you appreciate the person's notice of a positive change in your life. You can use this as an opportunity to share what steps you've taken to improve your mental or physical health, career, or relationships.

4. “Yes, I've been trying out some new styles lately. What do you think?”

This response invites the person into a conversation about your appearance and shows that you value their opinion. It can also lead to a fun and interesting discussion about fashion, accessories, makeup, or other related topics.

5. “I'm glad you noticed. I've been feeling really good recently.”

This response acknowledges the person's observation while giving you an opportunity to share more about your current emotional state. It can also open up a dialogue about self-care, mindfulness, or other wellness practices.

Negative Responses

If the person's comment feels more negative or insulting, it can be difficult to know how to respond. Here are some strategies:

1. “I'm sorry you feel that way. Can you tell me more about why you think that?”

This response shows that you are open to feedback and willing to listen. It can also help clarify what the person means by their comment, which may reveal their underlying insecurities or biases.

2. “I don't agree with you, but I appreciate your honesty.”

This response acknowledges the person's opinion without giving it more weight than it deserves. It also shows that you are confident in yourself and don't need external validation.

3. “I'm happy with how I look/feel, so your comment doesn't really affect me.”

This response sets a healthy boundary and communicates that you are not interested in engaging with negative criticism. It can also encourage the person to reflect on why they felt the need to make such a comment in the first place.

4. “That's not a very kind thing to say. I hope you can be more mindful of how your words affect others.”

This response holds the person accountable for their actions while also modeling empathy and respect. It can also lead to a productive conversation about the power of language and the importance of being aware of how we communicate with others.

Conclusion

No matter how someone says you look or seem different, it's important to respond with grace, confidence, and openness. By doing so, you can deepen your connection with others and learn more about yourself in the process. Remember to be kind to yourself and others, and focus on the positive changes you are making in your life.